Best Unsung Simpsons jokes

Fone Bone

Matt Zimmer
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
33,576
Location
Framingham, MA
One of my favorite bits from Homer's Phobia doesn't get enough play.

Homer says something homophobic after John Waters offers him some cactus candy.

John: "Well, now you don't get any candy. No, that's cruel. Take a teensy piece."
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
One of my favorite bits from Homer's Phobia doesn't get enough play.

Homer says something homophobic after John Waters offers him some cactus candy.

John: "Well, now you don't get any candy. No, that's cruel. Take a teensy piece."
I love this bit towards the end:

Homer: Hey, we owe this guy. And I don't want you calling him a sissy. This guy's a fruit. And a- No. Wait, wait, wait. Queer. Queer. Queer. That's what you like to be called, right?
John: Well, that or John.
Lisa: This is as about as tolerant as dad gets, so you should be flattered.

Another one:

Girly Edition:

Bart: I'll show Lisa who's dumb. (picks up a newspaper) "Supreme Court reverses"- (groans) I won't turn to the comics. I won't turn to the comics. All right. I'll read one comic just to get me rolling. Archie. "Hey, Jughead, did you hear? The Supreme Court reversed"- (groans louder)
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
Pray Anything:

(after many of Homer's sacrilegious activities)
Marge: Homer, aren't you afraid you might be... I don't know, incurring God's wrath?
Homer: Eh. God's cool.
Marge: See, I don't know that He is.

Talk about failing religion class.

Also, I've mentioned this before, but I love how one of the characters in this episode, Larry H. Lawyer Jr., is based on a real life lawyer named Larry H. Parker, who operates in the southern California area:


It's not really a "joke" per se but it's kind of an in-joke if you don't happen to live in the L.A. area.
 

Fone Bone

Matt Zimmer
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
33,576
Location
Framingham, MA
Bart After Dark

Belle visits the Simpsons' house and introduces herself and says to Homer "Are you wearing a garbage bag?"

Homer: "I have misplaced my pants."

She tells him about the Gargoyle Bart broke and says she assumes Homer will want to punish him.

Homer (chuckling): "'Preciate the suggestion lady, but he HATES that. And I gotta live with 'im."

Bart: "You the man, Homer!"
 

khuddle

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2012
Messages
687
Location
Kimberton PA
From "Homie the Clown".

After seeing the "Clown College" billboard, Homer starts hallucinating that the other Simpsons are clowns.

Homer: Marge?

Marge: Yes dear? (Starts humming the "Barnum and Bailey Circus" theme)

Homer (no longer from his viewpoint): That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going
to clown college!
(leaves)

Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.


The amusing part of this exchange is the "you people have stood in my way long enough!" So Homer believes that Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie have been actively oppressing him up to this point, prohibiting him from going to clown college? Hillarious.
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
Grade School Confidential:

(Homer speaking through the megaphone at Bart, who's holed up in the school)
Homer: Bart, this is your father. DO YOU KNOW!... where the remote is? I looked all over the house!
Bart: Did you check your pocket?
Homer: (to crowd, still through megaphone) It was... (crowd winces; Homer takes the megaphone down) It was in my pocket.

I love how you think Homer's going to chew out Bart ("Do you know how much trouble you're in?!") but he was just looking for the remote.
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs:

Homer: Oh, my God, Lionel Richie! Can you sing "Say You Say Me," but make it about beer?
Lionel Richie: Sure, I guess. (singing) Hey, you, beer me. Beer me for always. That's the way it should be. Hey, you, beer me. Beer us together naturally.
Homer: Now make every word "beer."
Lionel Richie: (singing) Beer, beer. Beer, beer. Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.

So ridiculous. Homer has a one track mind.
 

khuddle

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2012
Messages
687
Location
Kimberton PA
Sideshow Bob had some funny lines, especially when he was being elitist.
Here's one from (3F08) "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming".

(Sideshow Bob attempts to kidnap Bart on the Wright Brothers airplane.
Sideshow Bob is clearly enjoying the gentle, quiet ride).

Sideshow Bob: "Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit. Back before every
Joe Sixpack could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham."

Sideshow Bob at his elitist best!
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
Sideshow Bob had some funny lines, especially when he was being elitist.
Here's one from (3F08) "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming".

(Sideshow Bob attempts to kidnap Bart on the Wright Brothers airplane.
Sideshow Bob is clearly enjoying the gentle, quiet ride).

Sideshow Bob: "Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit. Back before every
Joe Sixpack could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham."

Sideshow Bob at his elitist best!
I love earlier in the episode Sideshow Bob's disdain for air shows:

Sideshow Bob: Air show? Buzz-cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whizz jets to the strains of "Rock You Like a Hurricane"? What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?
(cut to Bart and Homer exclaiming "YEAH!" looking at an ad for it in the paper)
Marge: (half-heartedly) Yeah...

Another couple, from 22 Short Films About Springfield: Apu's speed sex. I refuse to believe it's a time lapse- he really had sex with a random woman that fast.

And when Snake is robbing Moe, he says "Goodbye, student loan payments, ha ha!" We get a little glimpse into Snake's backstory here- apparently this criminal thug went to college. Who knew.
 
Last edited:

Dantheman

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
2,274
Location
Michigan USA
I love earlier in the episode Sideshow Bob's disdain for air shows:

Sideshow Bob: Air show? Buzz-cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whizz jets to the strains of "Rock You Like a Hurricane"? What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?
(cut to Bart and Homer exclaiming "YEAH!" looking at an ad for it in the paper)
Marge: (half-heartedly) Yeah...
And as a capper to that joke, what song plays when the jets fly over the air show? Yep, you guessed it, "Rock You Like A Hurricane".
 

Fone Bone

Matt Zimmer
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
33,576
Location
Framingham, MA
Homer The Smithers


The best part of this one is that it's the kind of thing you could ONLY hear during the Oakley Weinstein era. It's the ONLY two years of the show for jokes like this.
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
Million Dollar Abie:

(as Grampa is given a tour of the assisted suicide machine)
Doctor: But killing yourself isn't as easy as putting on an ugly sweater like you did today. I want you to carefully think about this for 24 hours.
Grampa: Oh, I see. You want me to reconsider whether or not I really should give up my life.
Doctor: ...Yeah, and we're cleaning out the death machine today. Lotta gunk gets stuck in it.

How comforting.
 

Classic Speedy

Hmm
Staff member
Moderator
Reporter
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
41,667
From Treehouse of Horror VII

Homer comes across the Space Aliens Kang and Kodos:

HOMER: "Oh my God!" Space Aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids...eat them!"
I distinctly remember that line was chosen as TV Guide's Quote of the Week when it first aired. They also chose this gem from Marge Be Not Proud:

Homer: We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anyone laughing, did you?
 

Spotlight

Who's on Discord?

Latest profile posts

Happy 20th Anniversary to the Disney Channel Bounce Era (2002-2007).

Want to give me the best birthday present EVER? Catch up on Gilda And Meek And The Un-Iverse at my site! And be sure to read it in order! If you sneak ahead for spoilers I'll give you SUCH a pinch!
It's muh burp-day!

Braaap!

That tasted better going down than coming up.
Halloween month is tomorrow!

Featured Posts

Top