"Eternals" Feature Talkback (Spoilers)

Rate this movie

  • *****

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • ****1/2

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ****

    Votes: 3 42.9%
  • ***1/2

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • ***

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • **1/2

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • **

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • *1/2

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • *

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    7

Yojimbo

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In the beginning...

Eternals.jpg

Eternals
Theatrical Release Date:
November 5, 2021 (November 4 advance screenings)
Digital Release Date: January 12, 2022
4K/Blu-ray/DVD Release Date: February 15, 2022
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures, Marvel Studios
Director: Chloe Zhao
MPAA Rating: PG -13 (for fantasy violence and action, some language and brief sexuality)
Screenwriters: Chloe Zhao & Patrick Burleigh and Ryan Firpo & Kaz Firpo
Starring: Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayek, Kit Harrington, Kumail Nanjiani, Lia McHugh, Brian Tyree Henry, Lauren Ridloff, Barry Keoghan, Ma Dong-seok
Runtime: 157 minutes

Plot Summary: Following the events of Avengers: Endgame (2019), an unexpected tragedy forces the Eternals, ancient aliens who have been living on Earth in secret for thousands of years, out of the shadows to reunite against mankind's most ancient enemy, the Deviants.

Related Links:
-Marvel Official Page
-Disney Plus Official Page
-Guardians of the Galaxy Talkback Thread
-Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Talkback Thread
-Avengers: Infinity War Talkback Thread
-Avengers Endgame Talkback Thread
-Eternals News & Discussion
-Marvel Cinematic Universe News & Discussion

Discuss Eternals right here!
 
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DogBoneController

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AdrenalineRush1996

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I saw the film earlier today and while I understand why it has divided fans and critics, I actually enjoyed it.

I'll say this, this is the closest thing to a New Gods film, considering that said film was unfortunately scrapped recently.
 

Neo Ultra Mike

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WARNING: Long big rambly spoiler review blah blah blah.

hough it's been pointed out with stuff like Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant Man at this point Marvel can literally take ANY comic book character they own and turn them into a beloved on screen hero with a huge fanbase thanks to how beloved the MCU was, it should be pointed out that most of these characters do have long comic book histories and quite a lot of beloved fans either gathered over the decades or more recently. Or at the very least are related to super popular heroes so you get why there's a movie made from them. Yeah Guardians of the Galaxy in 2012 weren't well known but they did have successful hits and ties to the big bad the movies were building to so it made sense to give them a movie. Or maybe a movie is made for a character to attract certain audiences like say Shang Chi. Which though did have a decent run in the comics is mostly made to capitalize on the Asian audience. Then you have projects like this which... at first it's hard to get what the purpose is. Eternals is a pretty failed concept even within the comics something that king of comics himself Jack Kirby tried really pushing but didn't get anywhere with and though they have been reused and rebirthed over the years never gained much of an audience. Plus unlike Guardians since the eternal are protectors of earth you aren't offering like space adventures or anything on a super wide spreal appealing sort of level that would warrant them getting such a big push for a movie. But I think I get why Kevin Feige chose this to push so hard; because there is NO big F-U he can give to former Marvel Entertainment head Ike Perlmutter then if this film wound up being successful.

For those who may of forgotten Perlmutter was the former head of Marvel Entertainment and one of the big wigs who had a pull in the MCU and what they could and did have rather limited sexist/racist views on what would sell. This is the guy who felt they could just recast Terrance Howard after the first Iron man instead of paying him more because "all black men look alike" or not have Rebecca Hall's Maya Hansen as the main villain of Iron Man 3 because "girls can't sell action figures". I keep bringing this up because I really hate this guy and how much sway he had in the MCU and the fact he was one of the ones who was trying to push for Civil War not ending on a Tony Steve fight just to be more "conventional" means even removing the bigotry and sexism from the guy he still has terrible ideas. This was someone who really wanted the Inhumans and their royal family to be big major players in the MCU despite no one else at Marvel wanting to make that film. But Marvel had to agree to that if they wanted to make a Black panther and Carol Danvers Captain Marvel movie... at least when Perlmutter had a say in the company. He lost it though thus Inhumans being off the film side of the MCU and having to go straight to ABC for a season (and a terribly reviwed and performing IMAX experience) and Marvel going on much better without him. Phase 4 is the first phase without Perlmutter's touch at all and Feige is really reveling in that with stuff like Black Widow and Shang Chi but this one seems like the most spiteful. Because Eternals was a pitch done by up and coming (more at the time) writer director Chloe Zhao who had this vision for the project. One that Perlmutter and his team would of probably scoffed at and not let near them but one Feige certainly embraced giving her free reigns on this movie. Which yeah is about the secret history of a race of aliens who have roots in humanity for thousands of years no one really knew about whose biggest enemy is really themselves and the constructs of their power. Except yeah Zhao is totally turning the tables on who has the power and the focus in ways the old guard never would of considered. Though oddly enough unlike most times when it feels like Marvel has really left a director alone to do their own thing there seems like a huge gigantic backlash over this film critically Like "my god even Venom Let There Be Carnage was better liked then this movie" which is saying something especially considering the MCU's track record. This is the first movie of theirs to do so poorly with mainstream reviewers as even Thor The Dark World and The Incredible Hulk were much better recieved let alone Phase 3 and beyond where the worst seemed to be Captain marvel and Black Widow. What is it about this movie that's so bad exactly and is it something that really should of been changed to make for a better feature to uphold the standard that Marvel has had for so many other movies?

I... guess it's that this does take a fair amount to get going and make sense which does lead to some pretty bleh exposition to catch everyone up but quite honestly it makes sense by the very end and though not the best MCU movie it's certainly not the worst and one I was able to get into and even recognize and get a beat for all the character which considering this is a 10 leading cast is pretty impressive.

Now Zhao admitted that the movie she took the most inspiration from with this wasn't any Marvel movie but rather a DCEU movie, Man of Steel. Which yeah is also about the debate whether or not the hero is essentially an alien tool who will follow their originally expected role and bring about the doom of humanity for the sake of a much higher power, or be their own person and side with the people they actually enjoy and cherish. And the main villain is someone driven mostly by their own principal above all else who does horrible things because of seeing this path chosen for them as the right one and will use his incredible power even on those who are of his own race. Like it's pretty easy to see the parallels. I guess there's also the fact that this movie constantly has flashbacks going over the history of these characters and not being a fully linear story. One huge advantage Eternals has though is that even if you know the comics you don't really know the history of how the movie Eternals operate or what they would exactly do so how they go about showing this journey is more unique. But more importantly what makes this a better movie is that the reason they are deattached makes a lot more sense with them being immortals who either may of gotten sick of humans or being stuck at certain ages in certain bodies or wanting to leave to go back to their own suppose home, but you actually get a sense of those who love and care about humans do have roots and thus give us a reason to actually like them and get their connection. Like I actually do buy Sersei and Dane being a couple and they have a charm about them even in the couple of scenes they have (especially him asking if she's a magican like strange and can turn him into a giraffe) where you get though some are disconnected obvious others do care and thus you can care about them which yeah I could never really gel at all with Clark/Kal-el in MoS which is one of the sour points of that movie. I guess it helps that though this probably is one of the more serious MCU movies you still do have sections made for comedy like Kungo revealing he's been a bollywood star for generations and pretending he was his own father grand father etc in a heirachy of acting and his manager Karun constantly pulling out cameras revealing he's filming everything. But they don't just make someone comedy relief as you do also get scenes of him where he admits to becoming an actor because he enjoy how Sprite would tell her stories but also admits he couldn't keep living with her wanting to live with humans which you can't do with a non aging kid since yeah you can get away with faking being an adult for like years upon years not so much a kid which again plays into her angst. Like they make the characters broken with issues they either have to get over or pay the price for which I do appreciate and I also appreciate how it also plays into their spritual belief for better or worse.

Now big issue when people heard about this concept was "okay so if there are these super powered beings who have been living for thousands of years, how come they haven't really interfered at all in human affairs until now even the multiple times humanity was attacked by aliens or beings who you know could wipe out the entire universe's population." I wasn't going to accept the "oh we can't do that because this Arinsham said so" really even if the answer does involve faith but I appreciate that this faith more extends to their own believes as well as purpose. I enjoy the idea that Eternals were created for the purpose not of protecting the people whose worlds they inhabit for furthering the population to the point of allowing a celestial to be born so they can create new races as yeah this does go into something tapped on in other movies about Celestials but expands just what the purpose is. I also like too that is a struggle for Ajax in obviously wanting to be attached and being enthralled by the general population but knowing the purpose and grand design of these Celestials and thus having to live with the burden of what they are made for and eventually will have to do, and probably subtly after the deviants are wiped away and Thena loses herself not wanting to really focus on that burden. Which is the main reason why she probably just allowed the others to live life and not worry about meeting up as a team for so long; because of just wanting to life that live and since she didn't really give a word about interfering the other Eternals keeping that promise to her their leader they obviously trust in not interferring. Thus making an issue of space and obviously respecting the chain of command which is key to the Eternals obviously baked into their DNA. And I also really like too how though they are trying to break free of that mentality wanting to stay themselves and though at first not wanting to take out another Celestial valuing who they are and the world and taking that chance in taking things out, that this also all changes because of technalicites and previous continuity. I imagine that Ajax might of originally even if she didn't want to might of just let the Emmergence of Tiamut happen eventually but it was the fact that Tony in Endgame snapped back life in the rest of all of the universe that convinced her and gave her the justification "you know what? This CAN go over a celestial's head we can over turn this" to give reason why she went against the order. And actual why Arinsharn wound up sparring the planet at the end since you'd think "okay the world where the eternals killed an upcoming celestial they were suppose to clear so he could emerge" would smote the entire planet but Arinsham obviously also knows that all life at least basic life was in danger saved thanks to an earthling so I feel would give the planet a chance even though he's obviously angry at the others thus taking them to give us a hook for that second movie. Which man I didn't think they would go so hard for a sequel that quite honestly most first movies in the MCU don't really do but half the team taken and the reveal that Starfox with Pip is coming to help that are with the group (BTW Starfox introducing himself with Pip playing up his greatness was a cool moment and man I would not expect actual Harry Styles to be an actor the MCU every associated with but hey it works for this kind of character) and then at the end Dane opening up the Ebony Blade to use to obviously become the Black Knight and then getting of all character a vocal cameo of Blade I so was not expecting. I wonder if that means Kitt Harrington's Dane will be a major part in that movie and what does Blade have to do with this (besides being Blade in a scene with a Blade) since didn't think we'd mix up vampire hunting with this alien celestial stuff but interesting what this means... wow this pivoted fast. When the point I was trying to make was pointing out how though in a sense "love" won the day there was still a logic to it and there were consequences.

I think that's what put this over something too in a sense like Steven Universe. Which thinking about it is ALSO about alien immortal creatures landing on a planet that's meant to be harvested to grow one something for their overall race that would destroy humanity so a group winding up resisting that and trying to reason with the own kind why they shouldn't do that. Honestly I'm not as down on Steven unvierse's "talking things out" ending because honestly these are dealing with alien logic with their own alien sensiblities so getting them to see things our way through their own issues makes sense to me since they wouldn't know any better, but I also do feel there should of been more actual lasting conflict and consequences about what happened so appreciate them doing that here. Mostly in Ikarus's whole arc. Pretty obvious when you have such a large cast that someone was going to be the villain but honestly you'd think with how early Ajax was taken out maybe her love for humanity made her want to try some desperate other plan that'd have even more diasterous consequences. Or that Druig due to his hatred of people fighting amongst themselves would use the power of a celestial to try and really take everyone over to more prevent that. But no they went with the idea of Ikarus and his motivation was just having absolute faith in the plan set out by Arinsharn and not wanting to go against it even knowing it would end with him and the others being wiped away and the planet being destroyed. Like it's clear he is distant and not really with the others in a more personal sense but not to a gigantic degree and do like how it shows he is conflicted about that. Like crying when he leads Ajax to her death and him trying to shoot at Sersei in the end and not being able to because he obviously did care and does have feelings even if he did try going through with the mission. Felt like him just flying away at the end would be lame but I'm fine with him offing himself in the sun. Since yeah he was technically an antagonist but I get none of the others being able to kill him and him still needing some sort of consequence and thus it driving at him what he did after attacking the others even after they made things right. I also like that though Kro wasn't that interesting they at least gave him a good motive why he hated the Eternals so much; knowing about why they were all made and just hating that concept so much and wanting to kill his creator's chosen and that driving him once he gained enough insight on what was actually going on.

Which reminds me this is one of those movies where the action was pretty mild at first as the first battles with the deviants in the past and in London weren't that great but got better as things went along. I really do like how Kungo killed that one in the forest by diving with his charged up shot and then how Ajax was able to treeify the other while one killed Gilgamesh. And Thena had a pretty awesome way of taking out Kro by slicing it's head into pieces as it was absorbing her. By far the best battle stuff was with Ikarus though. I admit his superman flying and eye blasts were decent bits against Deviantarts but showing it against the others and him pouncing them around were good moments. Yeah it's not to the level of "evil super man" esque characters you would see on Invincible or anything but it looked nice. I admit though best use of powers was Makkari. They have dropped the ball considerably on Quicksilver in the MCU and he never looked cool and though he was handled a lot better in the X-Men movies, stuff like days of future past and Apocalypse relied way too much on slow down to really get a sense of the speed. But seeing Makkari book it through the earth looking for where Tiamut would burst out from and then dodging Ikarus's attacks and pounding him multiple times trhough different angles, even dragging him through a wall were really the best examples of speed in the MCU. Phastos also pinning him down with his techno magic and saying he always wanted to clip his wings was cool as well and really worked for me.

Though as much praise as I give the movie it does have flaws and I certainly wouldn't ever put this on my list of favorite MCU movies. This takes quite awhile to get into. Honestly this really only picks up after we get that flashback explaining Thena's deal and the Eternals properly splitting up to really get going before you get fully into it. Which isn't the case for a lot of other movies you get into much sooner even stuff without previous connection like Shang Chi I was into once we got that backstory on his parents while this took a lot longer and could potentially loose people. And though a valiant effort was made to give everyone their own moment and idenity (I at least was able to remember everyone's names and powers by the end and with so many people introduced at once that is something) some of these characters do fall short. Outside of supporting Thena Gilgamesh doesn't really do that much and honestly his jokes about his soup and spitting into it weren't really that funny (I admit him saying he pacifyed Thena for a week so he could go out to get drunk was funny but much more misses with him then hits) and it felt like there were a lot of missed opportuntiies and rushed characters. Druig's whole "I hate war and want to take over people to prevent them from doing that" is really interseting but him just only having a group of people he takes over living in the amazons because "I had to let them evolve" feels really rushed and like they didn't have time for such an interesting idea. Same for Makkari who again is cool and good use of her being deaf but being able to pick up on people's talk through their vibrations but aside from her taking stuff from around the world and wanting to go back out so little done with her. I appreciate Thena actually having much more of a full arc and having a reason for being so out of it but until the end it did make her feel sort of dead weight to what a lot of the team were doing. And though I really get Sprite's whole deal and her sort of betrayal or at least wanting to go with Ikarus made sense, felt like more about her being stuck as a kid forever could of been done but again I get only having so much time and having so many characters. I will say unlike some longer movies it makes sense to have this be so long when you have so many people to focus on though admittedly sans a couple of cute bits every now and then a lot of Sersi's character and arc felt kind of flat and felt like more time strengthening her resolve should of been done. And yeah I'm not going to act like this movie didn't have some cringe in it that I have a feeling if it were in a lot more I would have liked it a lot less but it did hit in certain moments that felt wrong. Such as Phastos appearing at the end of world war 2 in Japan and blaming himself for giving people the technology to create nuclear bombs. Like... wow there's a part of that which feels kind of tasteless connecting the tragedy of the real world with these alien beings. Usually that stuff doens't hit me and hey since Captain America theyve been mixing goofy sci fi with that period but the fact it was taken so seriously and was about his arc which... also felt incredibly rushed. yeah I know this isn't his movie but him giving up on humanity and one scene and then the next scene he's in a loving relationship feels wrong. The relationship doesn't annoy me (and the fact that apparently this movie is being censored and not shown in some regions due to Phastos and his husband Ben kiss.... seriously that is screwed up that is still such a problem with people) but it feels wrong to seriously portray him as so against humanity then having this loving family especially when his reasoning is done kind of tastelessly. Also I get that this movie is called Eteernals so should be primarly all about them but feels weird of all the characters only Kungo got some other person to come with and bounce off of when maybe the others attached to humanity should of had that as well to show they had more to fight for or something. Still a lot to like in this movie. Due to the first half dragging and not having a lot of great action and some failed bits probably the weakest so far of phase 4 (which to be fair hasn't had an outright winner or awesome movie yet either. Then again only phase 3 had Civil War right out the great being awesome) but not by that much so I don't get a lot of the critical hate for this one. There's a lot to like and honestly maybe because these sort of immortal stories are more my jam but I still really like and appreciate this movie and feel it would make for a solid series or at least a second movie to conclude the end of this one. Though yeah you only get one totally cut off from the rest of the universe Eternals you kind of have to connect much more next time like you're remaining characters supposedly have.
 

DogBoneController

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$71 million opening weekend, $161 million worldwide.

Slightly below projections but still solid. Question now is it avoids a 60%+ drop on weekend two. Theatrical exclusivity should help avoid that.
 

reflection01

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I thought it was solid. I can understand why people would love it. I don’t quite get why people would not like it. I think it just made a convenient target for critics who don’t like Marvel.

The best criticism I heard was that it would have been better as a show. I agree. There would have been time to flesh out the characters and their relationship with humanity. Show the tension instead of leaving much of it to dialogue.

But they probably don’t get Zhao, that cast, and the full special effects and the wonderful aesthetic. So it’s a tradeoff.

One thing I really don’t get is the explanation of why they didn’t interfere with Thanos. Nothing endangered their primary mission like eliminating half of all life on the planet. Seems hard to imagine Ajak and Ikaris wouldn’t anticipate Thanos would cause widespread loss of life and bring the rest of them in.


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Neo Ultra Mike

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One thing I really don’t get is the explanation of why they didn’t interfere with Thanos. Nothing endangered their primary mission like eliminating half of all life on the planet. Seems hard to imagine Ajak and Ikaris wouldn’t anticipate Thanos would cause widespread loss of life and bring the rest of them in.

My personal theory that I went into in the review is that Ajax became a bit disillusioned with the mission due to actually growing to care about humanity thus was likely more detached from doing anything to further the cause, even if it would of involved more directly fighting Thanos. Especially since most people really only knew the scope of what Thanos was trying to do AFTER he snapped away half of humanity and honestly there probably wasn't much time to really call anyone to gather since yeah the Eternals obviously didn't have a communications network like the Avengers did. Remember it's only after everyone was snapped back by Bruce and Tony snapped thanos and his cohorts away did Ajax feel they actually had a case to fight back against the Tiamut in earth plan so may of been ironically more apathetic on helping out. And since it's clear unless deviants were directly involved none of the others were going to move without her saying so. I mean Ikarus only betrayed her after knowing directly she was going against their original plan so it was a mix of apathy on her part, the rest not willing to move without her and not even knowing the scope until it actually happened.
 

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11/13: Eternals looks to stay #1 with $27 million this weekend, down 62% from last week.

For a divisive film that's not so bad. For context, Star Wars: The Last Jedi dropped 67.5% in weekend two, while Batman vs. Superman and Suicide Squad (2016) dropped 69% and 67% respectively. It probably would've been a lower drop had Clifford not eaten into the younger audience.

11/17: Just watched the movie and suffice to say, it wasn't awful, but very boring. It looks like some weird combination of Watchmen and Man of Steel, and the characters are barely relatable. Could've been more interesting if it was about the Eternals trying to stop further European colonization of the Americas.

Mod Note: Double post merged.
 
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Neo Ultra Mike

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You know how Eternals ending goes hard in setting up a sequel with some of the team kidnapped, the others meeting up with Starfox, and Dane Whitman encountering Blade? Yeah that may be in response to the original much more grim ending that was planned.


Seems that Zhao's original ending would of been once Tiamut was defeated (since yeah you aren't going to end with him erupting from the Earth at all with this still taking place in the prime MCU) Arishem for the loss of a Celestial would of deleted everyone's minds of this entire encounter, made them load back up into the ship and find another planet likely paralleling how the movie opened. Which yeah is ridiculously dark. Like Spider Man No Way Home also had a dark "being forgotten" ending but not to THAT degree where the main characters don't remember all that happened and like their entire adventure was pointless. Admittedly if this had just been planned as only one film and nothing else might have been nice to have such a vierscal screw you kind of ending but I think it works better how it went. Not only because I would like to see more but quite honestly if they went through with this ending that'd be three big sad endings for the movies this year (this Black Widow and the mentioned Spider Man Far From Home) with only Shang Chi having a more positive one which would have been unbalanced so yeah going for the happier one made more sense.
 
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bigdaddy313

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So this film has 3 aspect ratios 2.39, 1.90 and 1.78. That’s interesting, love the cinematography feels more epic that ZK’s Justice League.
 

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I skipped watching this movie in the theatres due to COVID but I have to say this movie really surprised me. While its not perfect it's still a really good flick and something different from Marvel. The pacing is uneven and the movie is a bit too long but I liked a lot about it. Not a fan of the sort-of cliffhanger ending but I get it. Phasto's relationship was a joy to see on the screen and meant a lot, and Thena's story resonated with me as well. This definitely wasn't the movie I was expecting and while I do understand some of the complaints I feel they were overly harsh, and I can't help but thing some of the more right-leaning/"anti-woke" viewers/idiots played a part in bringing this movie down but this isn't the place for that debate. I think the movie could've benefitted from some more editing an tightening up. There are definitely some things that could've been trimmed out. The effects were on par with other Marvel movies and they were acceptable but still inconsistent and at times really bad. I do wish Marvel would take a bit more effort in that regard. Overall it's a movie worth checking out but given the length and pacing maybe taking a break halfway through will help. Really surprised by this one!
 

Yojimbo

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1/15: Special features and the Assembled episode hit Disney+ in March.

1/18: Assembled episode debuts on Disney+ on February 16.

1/20: Eternals had the biggest debut on Disney+ of all MCU movies.

1/24: McHugh on alternate ending.

3/11: I really liked the movie. In a way, this felt like the first real post-Endgame Phase 4 MCU movie. With a big new cast and unveiling the history of the MCU, there was a lot that could have gone wrong with it but it turned out great. I did like it didn't end with a mind-wipe as it would been too close to NWH and this was probably one of the more morally ambiguous of the movies. And it took me a few days to mentally unpack. While there were 2 factions like Civil War, glad it wasn't an all out duke fest and there was a lot of ideology argued and everyone had their own reasons for what side they picked. Like it was interesting Kingo supported letting Tiamut be born, but he abstained from any in-fighting. And they still killed Tiamut and the hypothetical lives Tiamut would have created will never be. And I, too, questioned why they didn't take on Thanos but I liked that it was addressed and it also tied into the greater themes of faith in the story. And later in the movie, the reveal of Phastos's role in WWII adds to their non-intervention stance making some sense. It was tad disappointing they didn't get to hash things out with Arishem and it ended how it did but it was a long, long movie already. In broad strokes, aspects of it did remind me of similar themes in the first Matrix movie. I dug the VFX. Makkari was my favorite. Really cool super speed stuff, her sense of humor, her being kinda klepto.

Lot of great references and subtle stuff baked into the designs with Kirby and Deviants or even stuff like the big bull Deviant in Mesopotamia fighting Gilgamesh was probably a hat tip to Enkidu in the Epic of Gilgamesh and of course, Ikaris flying into the Sun. Or the name of the ship being Domo, after that admin in the comics or Olympia turning out to be a cover story and not existing but it does in the comics. Also, the reveal of how Celestials are created totally made of think of the Earth X comic. And the irony of them killing Tiamut, whereas in the comics Tiamut rebelled against Arishem and spared humanity. And the GRC reference at the start when Sersi takes a photo with her phone and Doctor Strange being a house hold name enough for Dane to use. Quite amusing they had history with Odin and Thor. As a Ghostbusters fan, I loved the bit with Druig and Ikaris trading the tablet for the box of Twinkies.

I guess if Ego is a true Celestial, in my head canon, the planet he was gestating in exploded before his birth due to whatever natural disaster or external disaster. And bits of him reconstituted in space per the origin he gives to the Guardians. But the Celestials deemed him in-complete and left him to his own devices. And in his own convoluted way, went about trying to create perfection.

Harry Styles as Starfox. Patton Oswalt voicing Pip. Well, ok! :) Pretty dope they even name dropped Mystery Planet and Black Roger, heh heh. I guess this means there was a Celestial inside Titan but the calamity that Thanos failed to prevent killed it. It took a few seconds to compute that Starfox was an adoptive brother of Thanos.

The second tag, with the "uncle" and Ebony Blade mention during the movie, it was awesome seeing Dane face to face with the sword. Then the voice of Blade!!! :D

Idk, only weak point were the Deviants. Yeah, they completed the angels and demons metaphor of the Eternals and Deviants, but having the spend the bulk of the time with the Eternals' backstory, the mystery, the big reveal from Arishem -- the Deviants kinda were just there to be the red herring threat.

Still, should be interesting to see what Arishem decides and will the Eternals be able to foment a universal civil war against the Celestials even.
 
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Fone Bone

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Eternals

That was the very first Marvel Studios movie I didn't enjoy. Thor: The Dark World had its problems, and so did Avengers: Age Of Ultron and Iron Man 2. But each of those movies had individual elements that worked. This was just too much.

The critics are calling it a warmed over Avengers? Even when the critics are right that the movie sucks they don't actually know what they're complaining about. The fact that it's unlike The Avengers isn't the problem. The problem is the premise is awful.

I'm sorry, Jack Kirby fans, that's not what you want to hear. But what works in a comic book miniseries (and I trust comic fans who swear by this book) is not necessarily the thing a movie franchise should be built upon. I seem to recall people being outraged at how much The Inhumans TV show sucked. That premise was somehow even worse, and also a no-brainer that a live-action adaptation would fail. The premise here is not as bad as The Inhumans, because it's not about a group of slavers trying to enforce a caste system, which is like the craziest kind of hero for any franchise to get us to root for. That being said, even if I agree with the goals of many of the heroes in wanting to save humanity and Earth, I can't relate to the characters and their problems (with the possible exception of Faustus). They're essentially Gods and above everybody, and mankind's problems are essentially a nuisance for them, and an ethical debate. And I'm sorry, I can't get into that. I just can't.

If that were the only problem I could get over it. Marvel movies have a way of making even the thinnest premise enjoyable (see Ant-Man). But the movie is WAAAYYYY overlong, and becomes a chore to watch at some point. And the characters' alliances and changes of heart seem random and not based on anything concrete. I badmouthed critics expecting another Avengers. Another reason that's stupid is because the big things happening in Avengers movies resonated because you knew and cared about the characters from previous movies. The events in this movie are so huge, it annoys me how little I know about or care about the cast. Characters should always come first, and even in a movie as overlong as this one, I didn't feel all of the drama and extended pathos felt remotely earned.

The ending sucked on every level. Letting the Celestial die was absolutely 100% the wrong ending. I will probably hear people tell me that's what happened in the comics. It didn't feel right here. Because it made Ikarus actually right. If the Celestials ARE as important as described, than Earth SHOULD have been destroyed. The fact that the heroes weren't able to work out a Plan B to have their cake and eat it too makes them unlike any other heroes I want to root for.

And I'll tell you the thing that pisses me off the most about that. It's done to give us a big cliffhanger ending. I don't mind Marvel tags that set-up later movies. They can be frustrating and annoying but they're fine from a narrative stand-point.

Starting the first movie in a franchise off on an unresolved cliffhanger is bogus however. The heroes didn't do the big Plan B moment solely to set up conflict for the sequel. I'm right here. I deserve and want a satisfying ending to something I spent over two and a half hours watching. That's actually not too much to ask. Marvel Studios is known for delivering crowdpleasers. Let me tell you, after that ending, I wasn't remotely pleased.

I guess it makes sense Thanos was an Eternal, but I'm not even going to guess what the rest of the tags mean. All I know is I felt unsatisfied and annoyed by the time that was over. A movie doesn't have to be like The Avengers to be satisfying to me. It just has to not suck. This did not meet that threshold. *1/2.
 

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